If - and it's a big IF - I were the supreme Deity there'd be a few guidelines and a (VERY) few rules:
Rules:
1 Do nothing in my name unless you have a solid gold tablet in triplicate with my signature on it and countersigned by at least two other supreme deities from other parallel universes. And generally not even then. If fact... probably for the best just to do NOTHING in my name ever. I'm cool with that.
2 Do not deliberately hurt people or kill them.
3 If you're of the carnivore persuasion you can eat to survive. But no killing or hurting animal life for fun or sport.
4 Be prepared for smiting if I find Rule 1 being ignored.
Guidelines:
I'm omnipotent and omniscient. There is no contradiction here because I say so. OK? So no half arsed philosophising on how that works. It just does.
I do not need your protection. If people are rude to me and I'm pissed off I'll smite them myself. You are not required to do it for me. See rule two above for further guidance.
Actually I rather like dissent. It suggests you've been thinking even if you turn out to be wrong. It's why I gave you both Free Will and Brains.
Speaking of Free Will...if bad things happen it's either because you screwed up or because stuff happens in a self-organising universe like the way I designed it. It does not mean you're evil/bad or that I'm displeased. You should feel sad and probably annoyed. But do whatever you can to make it better. Or don't. Your choice.
I have commanded no particular actions and demand nothing of you beyond Rules 1-4 above. Everything is down to Free Will - including ignoring the Rules if you want to.
Some of the Churches from places like the the Middle East have rules about what you can eat and what you can't. These made some sense when you were nomads living in the desert with little water and no technology. Shrimp goes off real quick in the heat and pork is a bugger if you don't cook it properly. but these days...well just use the fridge and wash your hands carefully and heat things up properly. You'll be fine.
Btw on the subject of food. Macdonalds is nothing to do with me. You did that to yourselves though I've no idea why. Which is hard; on account of my being omniscient...
I quite like other religions but I really do not like Churches. If you were to use that big brain and the Free Will thing you might seriously consider disbanding all the churches and distributing their wealth to good causes.
If you must have Churches and priests and stuff for goodness sake let 'em marry and live lives like normal people. After all that's what they are. They don't deserve any particular reverence but they don't deserve any particular harshness either.
And invest in heating/air-conditioning for churches and padding for the seats. A lot of people who like to go to churches are old or frail or poor and deserve a bit of comfort.
And while we're on the subject of Churches...I don't have a dress code or any desire to have you mutilate yourselves for me. See Rule 1 above.
Go check out Wikipedia - that's a really cool human invention; way to go Free Will and Big Brain - and read about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And check out the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" They work well for anything I've missed.
Bill & Ted's Movies had it down pretty well to. I never understood why they didn't do better. "Be Excellent to each other" pretty much covers it.
Toodles//G
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